When we think about our personality, it often feels like an immutable part of who we are. Yet, personality is not set in stone; it evolves naturally over time and can even be shaped intentionally. For example, as we age, many of us naturally become more content and less reactive to stress, even if we don’t actively work on it. But what if we want to accelerate or direct that change to improve our lives?
Deliberate efforts to shift personality traits are entirely possible, and the process doesn’t have to rely solely on therapy or the passage of time. By understanding the science of personality change, we can take practical steps to become the kind of person we aspire to be. This intentional transformation involves aligning our behaviors with the traits we wish to embody.
Why Change Your Personality?
For some, the idea of changing a seemingly intrinsic aspect of themselves might feel unnecessary. But certain traits, such as high levels of neuroticism or a tendency toward isolation, can interfere with our well-being. Research shows that people with high neuroticism are more prone to anxiety, depression, and even physical health risks. On the other hand, traits like extroversion and agreeableness are linked to greater happiness, better relationships, and improved mental health.
Recognizing how specific traits affect our lives can motivate us to make adjustments. For instance, if excessive worry or self-isolation is holding you back from seizing opportunities, a deliberate effort to change could open new doors. Even small shifts can lead to significant improvements in how we experience life.
How to Cultivate Extroversion
Introversion has its strengths, but cultivating extroverted tendencies can be beneficial, especially when forging new connections or adapting to new environments. The pathway to becoming more extroverted is straightforward: engage with others. This could involve starting conversations with strangers, joining social groups, or taking a class that encourages interaction.
Although these actions might feel uncomfortable at first, practice makes them more natural. Social interactions, even those that are initially forced, can rescue us from overthinking and offer a buffer against loneliness. Over time, these behaviors can reshape how we approach and enjoy social situations.
Reducing Neuroticism
High neuroticism often manifests as heightened anxiety and overthinking, which can make daily life feel like an uphill battle. Practices such as mindfulness and meditation are effective tools for managing these tendencies. Techniques like body scans, walking meditations, or loving-kindness practices can help center the mind and reduce excessive worry.
However, reducing neuroticism isn’t only about calming the mind; it’s about challenging ambivalence toward change. For some, anxiety might feel like a protective mechanism—a way to prevent mistakes or maintain high performance. Recognizing this ambivalence is the first step toward embracing new ways of being that prioritize well-being over constant vigilance.
Fostering Agreeableness
Agreeableness, characterized by kindness, empathy, and cooperation, enhances relationships and contributes to personal happiness. Cultivating this trait often involves addressing barriers such as anger or irritability. Techniques like deep breathing and reframing negative assumptions can help manage these emotions, while volunteering or performing acts of kindness can reinforce cooperative behaviors.
For instance, participating in activities that serve others—like helping at a soup kitchen—can foster a sense of connection and purpose. These experiences don’t just help others; they reshape our own tendencies, encouraging us to approach the world with more warmth and generosity.
Tailoring Your Path
Changing personality traits isn’t about becoming someone entirely different. It’s about making incremental adjustments to better align with the person you want to be. Assessing your own traits—perhaps through a personality test—can offer clarity on where you might focus your efforts. From there, specific strategies, such as practicing mindfulness or engaging in social activities, can help you achieve your goals.
While the process of personality change requires effort, the rewards—greater happiness, improved relationships, and a deeper sense of fulfillment—make it worthwhile. By intentionally directing how we evolve, we can unlock a richer and more satisfying experience of life.