Drama Triangles can be found in all social interactions (relationships, marriage, movies, school, family, work etc).
| Victim (Nail) | Rescuer (Nail Remover) | Persecutor (Hammer) |
|---|---|---|
| Belief System: | Belief System: | Belief System: |
| “I am helpless” “Circumstances have power over me” Blames others Absolves self, of responsibility Didn’t see it coming. | “I am a fixer, savior” Avoids own work and pain Desires to feel good and appreciated Feels little self-worth “My needs are not important!” “You poor victims! Let me help you to feel good about myself” | Feels justified, in blaming and shaming others Holds others, entirely responsible for every situation Numb their own pain, by hiding behind a facade of pride and uncaring detachment Views world as a harsh and unforgiving place “I am always right” Likes to bully others Sees things as Black or White |
| Cost: | Cost: | Cost: |
| Stays dependent on others Avoids learning to take responsibility Constant complaining and whining | Keeps victims stuck, preventing their growth Ignores own work Seeking victims to rescue Feels taken advantage of and bitter as a result | Feels lonely, looks for connection Inability to change Dissatisfied with others Unhappy for not seen clearly |
Be vigilant and constantly track any Drama by:
- Identifying and jotting down roles you and others play in various relationships
- Actively tracking the role you are playing when interacting with others (Victim / Persecutor / Rescuer
- Consciously identifying and recording your feelings each hour (Fear / Hurt / Anger / Sadness / Joy)