The Drama Triangle:

Drama Triangles can be found in all social interactions (relationships, marriage, movies, school, family, work etc).

Victim
(Nail)
Rescuer
(Nail Remover)
Persecutor
(Hammer)
Belief System:Belief System:Belief System:
“I am helpless”

“Circumstances have power over me”

Blames others

Absolves self, of responsibility

Didn’t see it coming.
“I am a fixer, savior”

Avoids own work and pain

Desires to feel good and appreciated

Feels little self-worth

“My needs are not important!”

“You poor victims! Let me help you to feel good about myself”
Feels justified, in blaming and shaming others

Holds others, entirely responsible for every situation

Numb their own pain, by hiding behind a facade of pride and uncaring detachment

Views world as a harsh and unforgiving place

“I am always right”

Likes to bully others

Sees things as Black or White
Cost:Cost:Cost:
Stays dependent on others

Avoids learning to take responsibility

Constant complaining and whining
Keeps victims stuck, preventing their growth

Ignores own work

Seeking victims to rescue

Feels taken advantage of and bitter as a result
Feels lonely, looks for connection

Inability to change

Dissatisfied with others

Unhappy for not seen clearly

Be vigilant and constantly track any Drama by:

  • Identifying and jotting down roles you and others play in various relationships
  • Actively tracking the role you are playing when interacting with others (Victim / Persecutor / Rescuer
  • Consciously identifying and recording your feelings each hour (Fear / Hurt / Anger / Sadness / Joy)

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